A 30 Year Journey: Part 1

Who knew that turning thirty would be so hard for me. The truth of the matter is, it has been. Yeah.. some of the readers here have passed the 30 year old barrier.. I don't want to hear it. You're not going to say anything I haven't all ready heard. But let's face it, we've all had very different experiences through the tale of time. I remember being 10 years old and people telling me I had the mind and body of a 40 year old. Perhaps some of that is true. Of all the 30 year olds I know, I'm pretty damn sure I've lived more life then all of them. I guess it's easy for me, on the eve of my thirtieth birthday, to reflect on my journey thus far and to find a way to share the tale of a still young man, named John Paul Lacroix. (aka. Sherpa John).

Yeah baby, that's me as a baby. Look at that long curly blonde hair. You've seen pictures of me recently and I agree, it's hard to believe that I was that cute and I do often ask myself, "What the hell happened to me." Life happened to me. I'm not one of those kids who let it pass me by. Even at the spry age of... less than 1, I was all ready wearing shirts with trains on them.. wondering where the rails of life were going to take me. As you can see, it was a happy prospect back then.

I was pretty lucky to have a best friend very early in my life. This is me and Moe. We did everything together. Some of my cousins will interject when I tell you that I was his favorite. But.. I really do know that I was. I asked around and was told even when I didn't ask around. Look at me reading the card while Moe opened those gifts for me.. I always loved Christmas before I understood how overwhelming it became. My siblings and I always made out like bandits on Christmas.. it was always too much.

But Moe and I had a special relationship. I still day dream about sitting on this rock wall with him. This wall lined the side of his yard, next to the driveway. After we did work in the garden or mowed the lawn.. after we fixed up a once broken lawn mower together, we always sat on this wall and drank a coke to celebrate the day and work well done. We even had the same cobbler...

These are my siblings. Ann (Top L), Mike (Bot L) and Billy (Top R).. then that's me. Yeah.. I'm a HUGE football fan still.. I actually don't even remember that shirt. This was a classic picture for us. "Stand in front of the mantle there." Truth is.. it wasn't even a fire place.. it was a decorate mantle in the living room. You'd also think from this picture that I was the delinquent of the group. Look at those smirks on my brothers faces. Most of the time I was their personal punching bag. They picked on me a lot.. and now when I pick on them now that were older, they can't stand it. Don't get the wrong picture though.. that's what siblings do. We really did look after and love each other. We had to... that's how it worked in the 80s.

 So my parents put me to bed one night with a bottle in my mouth. I then had was it more commonly referred to as "Milk Rot." Just like that, I had my four front teeth pulled out and would be toothless until I was 8. This picture was taken when I was 4. What an outstanding looking smile.

By 5 I thought I was super man. This was me at a cub scout halloween party. We went to a lot of these when I was younger. Scouting was a huge part of my families life. All these years later I'm still wearing my underwear on the outside of my pants and from time to time, think I'm super man. How else do you run 100 miles? I can't figure out why I looked so terrified in this photo though.

This was my first grade portrait. Still no front teeth but still lookin' like a playa'. I bit my lip and that weird hair line.. yeah, I gave myself a haircut one night and this was the attempt at making my hair look normal. This was my new Robert Redford look.

I lived a pretty senseless life as a younger kid. Overalls and sport shirts. Always messing with my hair. I actually do remember loving over alls, my favorite pair was red and corduroy. If I could find a pair today, I'd still wear em. I was a pretty happy kid though. I lived a life of adventure thanks to the influences of my older brothers. 

Moe taught me to mow the lawn when I was 7. I could barely reach the pedals but I cut that lawn to damn near perfect on a weekly basis. I loved it. Some days I just rode the mower around just for the hell of it. We found this one in the trash, brought it home and fixed it up. In this photo it was still running great. The year it died, it was a smokey mess. Notice the duct tape seat accouterment.

This was my swimming pool. Every summer Moe and I set it up in the back yard. Right outside the door from the summer porch. It was strategically set up here so he could sit on the steps and smoke a cigarette while "watching" me swim. I was a scrawny runt then.. shorts didn't fit too well.. but the water was always perfect in that pool. The only downside was the dozen pine trees in the backyard that rained crap into the pool.

I was a cute kid in my younger years.. and by the 4th grade, the above happened. I finally had front teeth again, but now I was sporting these Urkel glasses. They were the cheapest glasses in the place and all we could afford. Lucky me. Later that year they told me I needed braces too. I drew the line there and still enjoy my overbite. Obviously being this ugly, I was the kid that got beat up every day after school. The neighborhood punching bag. I survived it.. barely.

Scouting was everything when I was younger. I actually made it up to First Class Scout before quitting. To this very day I regret never getting my Eagle. This is a picture of me at our local church. I did a yearly stuffed animal drive to help kids in need of a hug. A young philanthropist in training.

This was my first ten speed. Christmas morning. Glasses on, bed head.. and my pants don't fit. With the looks of those socks, I look about 80 years old. This would be the last time in quite a while, where you'll find a picture of me with an actual smile on my face. After this Christmas, my life changed in ways I never knew they could as a young child.

This was the tomato plant I grew the first year of my keeping up the garden. Moe had a stroke when I was 14 and was in a rehab hospital for the entire summer. I wanted to do him proud so I kept the garden up like he always would. I used every trick he ever taught me and grew this monster 6 foot tomato plant that wielded tomatoes the size of softballs. It's stalk was 3" thick at it's base. I was pretty proud and in my closet today.. is that flannel jacket. That was Moe's gardening jacket. I still wear it on frosty mornings.

This was my junior prom picture. 15 years of life thus far and I was taking a teachers daughter to prom. You have no idea how excited I was. I asked her to go as a part of a dare.. and she said yes. I was speechless. But truth be told, at this point in my life, I was barely surviving high school and really just starting to dive into the depths of depression. There are very few pictures of me from these trying years of my life (12-17).. and even in this one it's obviously painful to smile. I wanted to be a weatherman.. I had no ambition to change the world.. I was just playing soccer and trying to survive. Every day I thought about hurting myself, I thought about dropping out of High School and hitchhiking for a living.. I had no ambition, no desire to succeed... just living a life of going through the motions.

This story is only really beginning. The first 15 of my thirty years were lived like most folks. The youngest of four children, the son of two hard working and giving parents. My best friend was my grandfather.. and by the 90s.. the product of a divorced family, struggling with depression, abandonment.. and the severe stroke of my grandfather. I wish I knew at 15 how the next 15 years would turn out.. I thought it would be all for not. Instead.....

To Be Continued....